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Hi there, what's up you guys???

Hi there, what's up you guys???

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.

The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his.

Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.

The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren't, then I'd be a teacher.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

It's dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that's successful enough to require a large and complex set of software

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

Men have become the tools of their tools.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side

It's the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.

We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

It's wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.

p90x:

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.

Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.

Everyone is a genius at least once a year; a real genius has his original ideas closer together.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I'll never know.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens

Physics is not a religion. If it were, we'd have a much easier time raising money.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

vps:

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently

Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?

It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.

It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

In America, anybody can be president. That's one of the risks you take.

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

A man can't get rich if he takes proper care of his family.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?

nexx:

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

Men have become the tools of their tools.

Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

When ideas fail, words come in very handy.

There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.

It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.

I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.

I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.

Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife's mother.

War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

Linux is like living in a teepee. No Windows, no Gates, Apache in house.

In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !

A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it's good it's wonderful, and when it's bad it's still pretty good.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

Behind every great fortune there is a crime.

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The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings